Life has a way of waking us up — sometimes slowly, sometimes all at once. For many women, that moment comes in the form of a major life change: a job loss, the birth of a child, or the end of a marriage. And when it does, one of the first realizations is often financial: I don’t know where my money is. I don’t know how much I have saved. I don’t know what comes next.
That’s exactly what happened to bestselling author and podcast host Jen Hatmaker. Despite building a successful career and becoming the primary breadwinner for her family, Jen found herself post-divorce without access to basic financial information. She didn’t know how many accounts she had. She didn’t know what her bills were. And she didn’t know how to begin taking back control.
In her new memoir: “AWAKE,” Jen writes about the unraveling of her 26-year marriage — and the emotional, spiritual, and financial awakening that followed. She joined Jean Chatzky on the HerMoney Podcast to talk about the moment she realized she had outsourced her entire financial life, and how she built it back step by step.
A 90-Day Crash Course in Becoming Financially Awake
Jean Chatzky: In 90 days, suddenly you were on this post-divorce crash course with your planner. So what was it like to tackle it all? Having never done it before?
Jen Hatmaker: It was a crash course. Here’s what it looked like:
- Go through every bill and put them in my name
- Open new accounts and set up auto-drafts
- Close shared credit cards
- Refinance my house
- Meet with a CPA and review my tax history
- Cancel frivolous subscriptions
- Cut unnecessary spending for 90 days
When [my financial advisor] gave me that list, I went out and cried in my car; I was so overwhelmed. But I chipped away at it and just started pecking away bit by bit, by bit.
Safety, Not Just Stability
Jean Chatzky: I am so glad to hear you say it wasn’t so hard because I totally agree with you. It’s tedious. It is undoubtedly tedious, but there’s nothing really all that hard about it. Was there one point where you just felt like, okay, now I got this?
Jen Hatmaker: I do remember a real sense of just absolute triumph when I got to the end of my house refinance. At that point, all my accounts were open, my taxes were caught up, I had my quarterly taxes on lock, and I just remember thinking, I’ve done it. I’ve done it.
And then there was this sense of, oh my gosh, not only am I pretty good at this, and I’m pretty responsible, and I’m diligent, but now I had this sense of safety, like, oh, I’m in charge now of my financial future, and I will never lie to me. I will never steal from me. I will never waste my own money. I will never have illicit spending. And I just felt that was one of my first moments of safety.
Jen Hatmaker’s Message To Women Everywhere
Jean Chatzky: For the woman who’s listening right now, who’s quietly struggling, who’s maybe feeling like she is late to her own financial party, what do you say to her?
Jen Hatmaker: I want her to know, first of all, she’s certainly not alone. And no matter to whatever degree she is outside of her own narrative, it’s not too late. She’s not incapable of doing this. She’s absolutely capable of getting in front of this and wrangling it to the ground. And so, I would just say put your chips on the table. You are smart. You are able to do this. You are thoughtful, you’re responsible, you’re diligent. And this is just what I know of women.
Also, there are so many helpers. There are so many people who are so good at this and willing to help, and they actually love to do that. So don’t be too prideful. Ask for help, onboard your folks, put your head down, and do it one at a time. You can do it, you can dig out, and then one day you will wake up and realize, you know where every penny is going. You are safe, you are stable, and you’ve done it.
MORE ON HERMONEY:
- Gray Divorce: How To Navigate The Process With Less Stress
- How to Financially Protect Yourself in a Divorce
- Why Gretchen Rubin Left Law to Become a Bestselling Author
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