For women who’ve let a spouse take the lead on money management during marriage, financial confidence can take a real hit during — and after — a divorce.
That’s according to a new survey from BMO Wealth Management, which found that among women who relied on their spouse to handle the money, only 36% felt confident about their finances during a divorce. Compare that to the 68% of women who shared responsibility and said their confidence stayed steady — even in the middle of everything falling apart.
Divorce is never something we hope for, but life happens. And the best thing we can do during the good seasons of marriage is to be proactive. Getting involved in the financial picture now doesn’t just protect you in a worst-case scenario — it strengthens your partnership and gives you peace of mind.
Here are three steps to take now to shore up your finances during marriage:
Know your accounts
One of the most important steps you can take for your future self is simply getting involved in the family finances early.
This can begin with basic awareness — knowing the household income, total spending, net worth, and what your money is invested in (whether that’s stocks, bonds, real estate, or all of the above).
And yes, it’s all too easy to let someone you love and trust run point on the investment accounts. But true confidence comes from participation. Start by reviewing your accounts together so you have a complete picture of your shared finances.
One client I worked with once told me her husband assured her their kids had a solid college savings account. Years later — during the divorce — she discovered he’d emptied those funds. And I’ve heard far too many stories like this.
Be present at the financial table
Your involvement with money shouldn’t stop at just having a handle on your day-to-day expenses. Being present means participating in the bigger, long-term decisions too — the investing, the retirement planning, the conversations that shape your financial future.
In other words, always attend any meetings with your family’s financial advisor. You deserve to be part of the conversation whenever investments are chosen, when retirement goals are mapped out, when cash flow is discussed.
These decisions can last for decades — and they can be expensive to unwind. Your voice matters!
Secure practical and legal access
Another key part of being financially involved is making sure you actually have access to your accounts.
Do you know where everything is held? It’s one thing for your spouse to tell you the balances… but do you have the login information? The account numbers? The paperwork?
It’s nearly impossible to be a full financial partner if you don’t know how to access the financial life you’re supposedly sharing.
Even more importantly, make sure your name is on all bank and investment accounts. If you’re unsure about anything, talk with a financial advisor or an attorney to get clarity.
Build financial knowledge
Finally, involvement requires knowledge — and knowledge builds confidence. Luckily, these days people have countless ways to learn: books, podcasts, trusted friends, real conversations about money, or working with a professional advisor who can guide you.
Understanding how investment funds work, where to invest, how retirement accounts differ, how to reduce debt, and how to increase savings — these are all pieces of the puzzle that help you show up fully confident in your own financial life.
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