Today we’re diving headfirst into a question that has sparked both inspiration and existential angst for centuries: Finding your purpose. It’s a daunting idea, isn’t it? Purpose can feel abstract, elusive, and ever-shifting — something we’re constantly chasing but rarely confident we’ve fully grasped.
For example, maybe you’re thriving at work but feel disconnected at home… Or perhaps you adore your family life but feel stifled professionally. Maybe you’re just wondering if the path you’re on is the path, or simply the one you happened to stumble upon.
Here’s the good news: Purpose isn’t a fixed destination — it’s a journey, and it evolves as we do. And living with purpose isn’t just an inspiring concept — it has a tangible benefit to our well-being. A 2023 study from Wiley found that having a strong sense of purpose can significantly reduce depression and anxiety. Meanwhile, research from the NIH shows that a purposeful mindset can even influence our physical choices, like exercising more often—not just because it’s good for us, but because we genuinely believe we can.
So, how do we begin this journey? How do we uncover what drives us, realign our priorities, and live a life where we’re always revisiting the question: What is my purpose?
Dr. Jordan Grumet has answers — and thankfully they’re not as complicated as you might think. He busts the top 3 myths about finding your purpose, and what to do instead.
Myth #1: Finding Your Purpose Is Easy
If you’re waiting for your purpose in life to hit you like a lightning bolt, you may be waiting forever. That’s because the first mistake we make when we think about purpose is defining it wrong and we often get finding our life’s purpose confused with finding meaning. “Purpose is the why of doing what we do,” Dr. Grumet says, “It’s being involved in actions that we find highly fulfilling.”
Meaning is more about our past and about our thoughts, while purpose is about our future and what future actions we want to build and create to make our lives more fulfilling.
“The problem is that we feel like this thing’s going to hit us over the head and life is going to be perfect, or it’s going to miss us,” Dr. Grumet says, “And I’d like to give people more agency by helping them realize that you build purpose into your life.” In other words, purpose isn’t a gift you’re handed—it’s a practice you cultivate.
Myth #2: You’ll Only Have One Big True Purpose In Life
In America, we have big, audacious goals. We’re told time and time again, if you can think it, you can build it. The problem with those goals is they are either really hard to achieve or take a lifetime to master. That’s why Dr. Grumet says instead, we should be focusing on the “little p purpose.” So what’s the difference between “big P purpose” and “little p purpose?”
“If you want to cure cancer, become a billionaire, or become President of the United States, those are all really hard things to do and most of them are all or nothing,” Dr. Grumet says, “Little p purpose is much more process-oriented. What are the things you can do on a daily basis that light you up, that feel exciting, and make you feel like you’re accomplishing something?”
Rather than fixating on one huge, far-off dream, you might find purpose in mentoring a colleague, volunteering at a local charity, or simply spending more time on hobbies that make you happy. These small moments of purpose build momentum and help you show up as your best self, rather than set you up for disappointment.
Myth #3: You Need A Lot Of Money To Find Your Purpose
If you’re feeling stuck in your career, Dr. Grumet acknowledges that while having money (and the flexibility to leave your job) is one of the levers you can pull to find your purpose, it’s not the only one. The other tools we have are our relationships, our youth, our energy, our passions, and our skills.
For example, “maybe I don’t love my job, but I live close to my parents, I’m 22 years old, and I could move in with them and not have to pay rent. Therefore, I could spend less time at a job I don’t like,” Dr. Grumet says.
Dr. Grumet also describes a few levers we have at our disposal — the joy of addition, the art of subtraction, and substitution. “Even if you don’t like your job, and you have to be doing it 40 hours a week, that doesn’t mean you can’t live a life of purpose. It just means you have to use the joy of addition. Maybe on weekends, or at night time, you can start adding joyful, purposeful activities to your life,” he says.
Bottom Line: Finding Your Purpose Is A Journey Not A Destination
Finding your purpose doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming. It’s about intentionally building purpose into your life in small ways. Instead of chasing a single “big P” purpose—like curing cancer or becoming a billionaire—we can focus on “little p” purposes: the daily habits and activities that bring us joy and meaning every day.
MORE ON HERMONEY:
- HerMoney Podcast Episode 344: Retire With Wealth, Health, and Purpose
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