This holiday season has been… stressful. And it’s not just this year, the holidays are ALWAYS stressful. And then, after having a blissfully quiet week with less stress between Christmas and New Year, we’re thrown into the craziness of 2025.
But the holidays are behind us now and a New Year dawns — and we need to make certain we’re stressing less than we did in 2024! Resiliency expert Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe shares her top tips for entering the New Year as chilled out as possible. Because when we’re less stressed we have more space to manage our needs (including our financial needs), and we’re better able to plan for the future.
Find Your People
Having a “home team” is one of the most important ways to stress less in the New Year. When you know someone has your back and you have theirs, it can make even the toughest situations more manageable.
One way to test the theory of whether (or not) your connections are truly deep is to look at how much stress you’re feeling about purchasing the perfect gift for someone. “If this person was really in alignment with you, you wouldn’t have to get the perfect gift to impress them or to feel important. When you find people where you can be you with all of your messy parts, [you’ll find that] some of those other pressures just don’t exist in that space,” Dr. Dafoe says.
Shift Your Perspective
If you’re torn between wanting to save for the future and needing to treat yourself (sometimes all in the same day), you’re not alone. That tug-of-war is totally normal, and “is just part of the lived experience,” Dr. Dafoe says. “Perspective is this ability to know how to make what matters most matter most.”
How do we figure out what matters most? There’s no “secret” to it because it’s constantly changing. “We don’t have to figure everything out,” Dr. Dafoe says. “It’s literally what’s in front of me and what is going to make this make the most sense for me to be able to show up boldly and bravely and especially in uncertainty.”
Control The Controllable
Find yourself worrying about politics, the weather, or how bad traffic is going to be on your commute home on the daily? Yeah, us, too. But it’s time to take a step back and decipher your controllables. “When you take a moment to think about the big world and how much is actually within your control it’s very little,” says Dr. Dafoe. “What do we worry about? Most of that stuff.”
In Dr. Dafoe’s resiliency research, she found one big differentiator in the most resilient people — they know the difference between their controllables and the uncontrollables and “put their energy, their agency, and their influence into what’s within reason.”
So focus your time, energy, and efforts on what’s within your reach, like sticking to your budget, nurturing your relationships, or setting healthy boundaries — and let the rest go.
Trust The Process
One of HerMoney CEO Jean Chatzky’s Money Rules is that “hope is not an investment strategy,” and while that is absolutely true, Dr. Dafoe explains that true hope is not about wishful thinking, it’s about trusting yourself to take actionable steps toward positive change.
“Optimism is throwing caution to the wind while hope is a state,” Dr. Dafoe says. “Hope says, ‘I am capable of making sound wise financial decisions for my future,’ while optimism involves more avoidance and choosing to look at the bright side. The bright side requires action, and hope drives us to action.”
Curse With Abandon
The most surprising way to stress less? Cursing into the ether. Yes, we give you full permission to do so (as long as it’s not directed at anyone)! According to Dr. Dafoe’s research, people who swear are able to pivot into a lighter moment and give themselves a moment of reprieve. Not only that —- swearing helps you live longer.
“It actually has to do with temperament. People who swear can express emotion and let it go versus the people that bottle and brew and get stuck and all of the little irritants and stressors and turbulence of our days,” Dr. Dafoe says. “It’s just this idea of just letting things go better.”
So, go ahead—let out a loud “*&%!#” when someone cuts you off at a stoplight, and feel the tension melt away.
Bottom Line: Let’s Stress Less in 2025
It’s time to lean on your “home team” for support and focus on what truly matters instead of striving for perfection. Let go of what’s beyond your control, trust yourself to take actionable steps with your finances, and don’t underestimate the power of humor (and a little swearing) to get through your hardest days. By embracing deep connection, reframing your perspective, and having a little hope, you’ll create space for less stress in the year ahead.
More On Hermoney:
- 7 Ways To Stop Money Stress Forever
- 3 Sneaky Ways We Financially Self-Sabotage (And How To Stop)
- How To Create A Budget: Four Different Budgeting Methods, Explained
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