Yes, personality and shared perspective matter (even more than you might think!) when it comes to finding the right financial advisor.
When I got divorced, I had to take control of my financial life in a way I never had before.
I had to make decisions that would shape my family’s future. Every choice carried weight. And what I needed in that moment wasn’t just technical expertise — it was partnership.
When seeking advice, I found myself speaking with advisors who were qualified on paper but misaligned in practice. They led with performance charts when I needed reassurance. They rushed to solutions when I was still processing. They spoke in jargon when I was craving clarity.
That disconnect wasn’t about intelligence. It was about the human element – the lack of empathy and a personal connection.
And that realization changed the course of my career.
Because here’s what I’ve come to believe: the traditional way people connect with financial advisors often ignores the very factors that determine whether the relationship will actually work.
We focus on assets. Geography. Credentials.
But we rarely ask ourselves:
Do they communicate in a way that will work for me?
Do they understand my life stage or family dynamics?
Do they share my values around work, family, ambition, or risk?
Will I actually feel comfortable calling them when I feel scared?
Those aren’t “soft” considerations. They’re strategic ones.
Money Is Emotional. The Relationship Should Reflect That.
The financial industry has historically pretended that money is purely rational. It’s not.
Money decisions are tied to identity, security, independence, and often shame and fear. They’re shaped by how you were raised, what you’ve experienced, and what you’re afraid of losing.
If you’re newly divorced, widowed, or the primary breadwinner for the first time, your advisor’s ability to understand that transition matters. If you’re building a business while raising kids, you may want someone who understands entrepreneurial risk and time constraints. If you’re cautious by nature, you may need steady reassurance. If you’re bold, you may want thoughtful pushback.
Risk tolerance questionnaires don’t capture that nuance.
Personality does.
Communication style does.
Life experience does.
When there’s alignment, conversations feel collaborative. When there isn’t, meetings feel heavy — or worse, intimidating.
I’ve met too many women who left advisor meetings feeling small. They didn’t ask the “dumb” question. They didn’t admit they were confused. They didn’t challenge assumptions.
When you leave a financial planning conversation feeling unheard or intimidated, that’s not ok.
You Should “Click” With the Person Advising You
Somewhere along the way, we absorbed the message that financial advice is supposed to feel serious and slightly uncomfortable. That if someone is warm or relatable, they must not be sophisticated.
That’s simply not true.
You can have both competence and chemistry.
In fact, you need both.
When you genuinely “click” with your advisor — when you feel seen and respected — you’re more honest. You’re more engaged. You’re more likely to follow through on the plan you built together.
And “clicking” doesn’t mean you have identical personalities. Sometimes complementary styles work beautifully. But there has to be mutual respect and a communication rhythm that feels natural.
Details That Build Personal Connection
In order to help women find a better fit with their financial advisor, we look beyond the numbers. We consider:
- Personality type — Are you analytical or intuitive? Structured or flexible?
- Communication preferences — Do you want detailed explanations or high-level summaries? Frequent check-ins or space?
- Life stage — Do they understand divorce? Entrepreneurship? Caregiving? Career pivots?
- Shared perspective and interests — Do they have similar life experiences or hobbies that can help build connection?
- Values around money — Growth-oriented? Preservation-focused? Impact-driven?
- Your astrological sign — If you are someone who looks to the Zodiac to help you determine compatibility with a new friend, love interest or business partner – why not consider this for your financial advisor?
Personal connections can come from shared values, communication style, life stage or how you process decisions. It does not determine asset allocation but it can shape how confident and clear you feel in the process.
Focus on Connection to Find the Right Fit
When meeting with a potential new advisor for the first time, focus on getting to know them as both a professional and a person.
Ask open-ended questions, and listen to how they respond.
How do you feel in the conversation? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like “you click” with this person?
Your instincts are the data you should trust.
As a divorced single mom, I had to rebuild not just my finances, but my confidence around them. That experience made me deeply passionate about helping women find advisors who support both.
Because the right advisor doesn’t just manage your money. They reinforce your autonomy. They respect your intelligence. They help you make decisions from strength, not fear.
Hire for chemistry — the right connection turns advice into partnership and your money into power.
Finding the right financial advisor isn’t just about credentials — it’s about connection, communication, and trust. Visit HerMoney’s Find an Advisor page to meet vetted, fee-only advisors and discover the partner who truly fits your life, your values, and your goals!
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