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HerMoney Podcast Episode 282: Finding Success Without Losing Yourself 

Kathryn Tuggle  |  September 8, 2021

Success doesn’t have to be soul-crushing. (It’s true! You can climb the ladder without losing your peace.) 

 

Most of us have probably heard of the practice of “daily gratitudes” or “gratitude journaling” wherein you list out, say, three things you’re most thankful for every day, or three successes that you had — even small ones. For some of us, that could be a promotion at work, or on some days, it could simply be taking a shower or cooking a healthy dinner for ourselves. The beauty of this practice is that when we take note of our wins, we’re motivated to keep moving in a positive direction — to continue finding the kind of success that brings us joy. 

But how can we sustain the successes we most want over the course of our lifetimes — what does a sustainable model for success really look like? “Success” can be a loaded word — the journey to success is not always seen as healthy. When we look at many people who are at the top of their fields, or who have accomplished great things, we see that they’ve sometimes sacrificed a lot to get where they are, or that they may have the title that we want, but they are not living the lives that we want. (Like, at all.) Right now, you can probably name several people in your life, right off the top of your head, who seem to “have it all,” but they are so burned out. Or they have a huge paycheck, but they honestly kind of hate their jobs. 

The great news is that it doesn’t have to be that way for us. We can walk a path to success that feeds our soul without crushing it… That is part of the title of Brad Stulberg’s newest book: The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds—Not Crushes—Your Soul. Brad is an expert on human performance and well-being, and is also author of bestsellers Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox

Listen in as Brad shares some of his favorite takeaways from his book. One of our favorites is: We don’t have to drive ourselves to a breaking point in order to achieve greatness. So, why do so many of us struggle with that? With pushing ourselves too hard, and getting burned out? Brad breaks it down for us, and shares what a “sustainable model for success” really looks like. 

Brad also says that we have to learn to value presence over productivity, and that groundedness does not have to eliminate ambition. He also goes into detail on what it means to “embrace vulnerability,” especially in our social media-driven, appearance-focused world. 

We also get real about burnout, and the best ways to combat those feelings, both day-to-day, and on a broader scale. 

We also talk about how we can apply the principles from Brad’s book to both our careers and investing. With our careers, oftentimes we might have to make decisions for advancement that may not seem super grounded… We might end up taking a job that we don’t find edifying just because we need the money. Or we might end up being promoted into a leadership position where we then have to supervise a close friend, and that’s going to change — if not damage — that relationship. Then, with investing, how do we find success as investors in a way that we can feel good about, that doesn’t stress us out? Brad gives us his best advice. 

In  Mailbag, we tackle questions on saving too much, and what to do with your car if you’re planning a move abroad. And in Thrive, is your new job offer really worth making the jump, or should you keep looking + negotiating for more? 

You can find more about Brad at his website, and follow him on Twitter.

This podcast is proudly supported by Fidelity Investments. Life is full of big moments—both the planned and the unexpected. Fidelity can help you navigate both with confidence. Learn more at Fidelity.com/HerMoney. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC Member NYSE, SIPC.

Editor’s note: We maintain a strict editorial policy and a judgment-free zone for our community, and we also strive to remain transparent in everything we do. Posts may contain references and links to products from our partners. Learn more about how we make money.

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