Making the decision to have kids is one of the biggest decisions a woman can make in her life, and increasingly, women (and men) are not waiting until they find the right person to have kids with — they’re walking the journey on their own.
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With a wide array of options from sperm and egg donors to surrogacy or adoption, there are more options than ever for those choosing the journey into parenthood. There’s also a popular support network for women who want to become single parents, Single Mothers By Choice, or SMBCs for short. Support groups like these are there to help women understand every step of their journey, everything from choosing a sperm donor to what their community of care will look like once the baby has arrived.
When Leigh Gallagher was in her early 40s, she decided she was done waiting for a partner, and made the choice to have a child on her own. She says that while she’s famously bad at making decisions, this was actually the easiest one she’s ever made. Once she decided to move forward with IVF, she says, “I just felt a hundred percent like she was taking all that power back. It’s not gonna be up to the dating gods. It’s gonna be up to me. And I’m gonna take it into my own hands, and make it happen for myself and I get to decide.”
Gallagher is a longtime business journalist, author, and currently, Senior Managing Director director at Teneo, a global CEO consulting and advisory firm. While she said she had an incredibly fulfilling and successful life in all respects, she felt like something was missing. “I just always thought I would be a mom,” Gallagher says. “I didn’t want to suddenly be 60 years old and look back and think, ‘Why did I not do this? I could have a 10- or 15-year-old by my side right now.’”
Gallagher’s daughter is now five and she says that when she asks why their family is different, she tells her that “Mommy wanted you so badly.”
“I tell her that it takes a few different things to make a baby, and there are some very generous people out there. I also say I got this from somebody else and you were in my tummy. The thing she remembers most is that Mommy wanted her so badly, she walks around the house saying it.”
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